I've got a secret...I want to get fat. I'm not talking about packing a few pounds, but a few hundred. I want to be obese. Although I've gotten softer and gained a few fat rolls, I'm not quite where I want to be--I'm not gaining as much as I'd like to. That's why I asked my fat friends, Ivy and Wood, for some advice. "Are you eating all the time? I mean, you're not eating now," Ivy pointed out. I had been eating chocolate, going to fast food restaurants, drinking soda, but there

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